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Becky Fawcett, co-founder of helpusadopt.org shares her experience as an adoptive parenting entering a new preschool.

Q: As school starts I am wondering: Should I tell my child’s teacher or school that they are adopted?

A: In my opinion, absolutely yes.

{For those of you who don’t know me, I am an adoptive mother of two. Jake is just about to start second grade and Brooke is about to start her first year of pre-school. Both schools know how our family was built.}

Brooke at almost 3 years old is familiar with the term “adoption” but clearly is too young to really know what it all means. So of course I let the school know on her behalf. When Jake started Kindergarten two years ago, we had a meeting with the principal before school started and she asked him if there was anything he’d like to share. It was a proud moment for me when he said, “I’m from Maine!” with a huge smile on his face and then went on to tell the story.

I feel it’s important to tell the school your child/children is/are adopted because if your child is comfortable talking about adoption at home they might talk about it in school. Ideally, you want the school to be aware because some of the other children might not know what adoption means. As an adoptive mother, I encourage my children to talk about adoption because it’s part of their story. And I hope that when they do talk about it, it’s in a nurturing and supportive environment.

The other reason I want the school to know about how we built our family is this: What if they are planning a family project? Or what if one of the other moms is pregnant and they talk about it in class? Or what if the teacher is pregnant?  Now I know I can’t always be there to protect my kids but I would hate for the school not to know and the comment be made that “everyone in the class grew in their mom’s tummy” because Jake and Brooke know that they did not grow in mine.

Some of my friends wonder why I make this a big deal. Why mention it at all since it’s a fact and in the past? As many adoptive families will tell you, it’s not a thing of the past – it’s a part of who my children are and it’s part of who we are as a family. My husband and I are very proud of how we’ve built our family and we want our children to embrace their stories with confidence. There’s no reason to hide it.

These days’ families come in all shapes and sizes, and schools are usually pretty well prepared.  But just in case I like to be open about it.  And what’s really great is when another child in the class says, “I’m adopted too!”

SHARED By: Becky Fawcett

Becky Fawcett is a NYC publicist and co-founder and executive director of Helpusadopt.org a national 501c3 grant program that helps couples and individuals with the costs of their adoptions. She also writes a blog called An Infertile Blonde and you can follow her on Facebook and Twitter. She lives in NYC with her two children, her husband and her somewhat disrespectful rescue dog Bitsy who likes to sleep on the dining room table when no one’s looking.