SHARED by: Leigh Goldman, Gymtime Mom

“When you ask parents to name the worst single word that anyone could use to describe their child, a surprising number of them answer right away with the word ‘spoiled,’” writes author and New York Times personal finance columnist Ron Lieber. Lieber is the author of one of the latest must-have parenting books, The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money.

In The Opposite of Spoiled, Lieber notes that it should serve as a “framework for child-rearing” that produces young adults who are not only financially responsible but also virtuous. He states,“… Every conversation about money is also about values.”

The Definition of Spoiled

Lieber points out that being spoiled is something parents do to their kids. Children aren’t born that way. Spoiled kids tend to have:

  • few chores or responsibilities
  • few behavioral rules
  • parents and others who “lavish them with time and assistance,” and
  • “a lot of material possessions” (the characteristic probably most closely associated with being spoiled)

The Silent Treatment

An “epidemic of silence” is how Lieber describes our reluctance to have serious (if any!) discussions about money with kids. And, yet, money is a complex and emotional subject. It’s something we need to help kids talk about, understand and use responsibly. Even young kids can be taught limits.

So bring on the transparency!

The Spoiled Kid Antidote

 In “The Opposite of Spoiled,” Lieber advises parents how to:

  • Analyze and deal with uncomfortable questions children ask, such as: “Are we poor?” Are the neighbors rich?” and “Why don’t we own our apartment?”
  • Explain household expenses – cable, cell phone, electricity, insurance, etc. –to kids
  • Teach children to divide their money into three jars: give (charity), save and spend in order to foster a sense of responsibility to help others, and to develop the ability to show patience and restraint versus wasting money for immediate gratification assign chores appropriately as a child ages

Lieber also touches on other key financial parenting topics ranging from allowance and the tooth fairy, to the value of older kids having real, paying jobs rather than, say, taking a volunteer trip to build houses in a developing country (an all-too- common college essay topic that admissions officers “often roll their eyes at”).

Consider “The Opposite of Spoiled” required and refreshing summer reading!

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