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SHARED By: Becky Fawcett, Co-Founder and Executive Director of Helpusadopt.org

You have decided that adoption is how you are going to build your family. Congratulations! Now what?

There are books. There are websites. There is more information out there than you can read in a lifetime on this subject. But who can you trust? What does it all mean?

RESEARCH
The most important thing to always keep in the forefront when researching your adoption plan is exactly that: RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH. Ask questions and gather information. (i.e. do not make a hasty decision in choosing an adoption professional—and by adoption professional, I am not referring to your family lawyer who does your taxes and wrote your will – I mean a professional who specializes in adoption).

TELL SOMEONE (or everyone)
First and foremost start talking about your plans to adopt. Most people I speak with say that they don’t know anyone else who has adopted and 8 years ago, I used to think that, too. But once I started mentioning to people that we were looking into adopting friends and co-workers started to say “I know someone who adopted. Can I introduce you?”

Talk about it openly.

Here are some questions to think about:

• Are you interested in domestic or international adoption?
• Are you interested in foster care adoption?
• And what is the difference between the three types of adoption (domestic, international, foster care)?
• Are you looking to adopt a newborn, a toddler or older child?
• Are you looking to have an open adoption?
• Is a relationship with the birth parents important to you?
• Should you work with an agency or adoption attorney? What is the difference?
• How many families does an adoption professional work with at one time?
• What is the expected timeline of the adoption?
• For an international adoption how many trips are involved and what are the lengths of required stay?

Once you start talking about adopting what will typically happen is that you will be introduced to adoptive parents who will happily share their adoption professional’s information with you. You can ask them what they liked and disliked about working with this professional.

RESOURCES:
American Academy of Adoption Attorneys is a site you can search for an adoption attorney within your state and call to make an appointment for a one-on-one consultation. This is a great way to learn about how the adoption process works in your state. You might want to meet with multiple attorneys because each one will have their own individual approach and you want to make sure it’s a good fit for you.

The National Council for Adoption is a great site to research adoption agencies (amongst other things). Search under “resources for families.” Many agencies have group information sessions that you can sign up for.

Adoptive Parents Committee is in the NYC Metro and Tri State Area. Their 2012 Annual Adoption Conference provides a wealth of information, speakers and workshops.

Adoptive Families magazine is also a great resource of information.

As you collect your information it will become clearer what avenues are more meaningful to you. Once you chose your adoption professional they will guide you through the rest of the process. I highly recommend that you do not do anything, or hire anyone else before you find your adoption professional as it could result in a wasted and unnecessary expenditure.

The road to adoption can be a bumpy one but PLEASE don’t let that deter you. I have been down this road now twice and I can honestly say that I would do it over again in a heartbeat. YES there were some days (ok maybe several) that made me wonder if it would be worth it and it was —Adoption was my option and I am a mom. This was my journey.

Becky Fawcett is a NYC publicist and co-founder and executive director of Helpusadopt.org a national 501c3 grant program that helps couples and individuals with the costs of their adoptions. She also writes a blog called An Infertile Blonde and you can follow her on Facebook and Twitter. She lives in NYC with her two children, her husband and her somewhat disrespectful rescue dog Bitsy who likes to sleep on the dining room table when no one’s looking.