SHARED by: Christa Terry, Co-Founder of Mom Meet Mom

You’d think that in a place like NYC, mommy networking would be easy. But no, even when you’re lucky enough to be surrounded by cool urban moms making friends can be as awkward as, well, dating. Some moms start out with a built-in group of friends they met in prenatal yoga, but could be your closest friends are still tearing it up at the singles’ bars.

It’s just a fact that moms thrive on friendship and support from other moms because only other moms get what it’s really like to take care of babies, toddlers and kids. Unfortunately if you’re a first-time mom or even the first in your circle to become a second-time mom, sometimes it’s incredibly hard to connect with someone who’s been there, done that – and, bonus, has kids the same age as yours.

Here are some tips for finding the moms near you who will help you stay sane through the first years all the way up to the teen years:

Get out of the house
With kids, whether you work or not, getting out of the house can be such a nightmare that you’re tempted to stay inside until your little ones have hit puberty. But trust me, the longer you hole up in your own apartment, the more isolated you’re going to feel. Brave the chaos and the diaper bag, and start getting out for kid-friendly activities and mommy mixers.

Mom Meet Mom

Stay local
New York City has just become this ultimate family destination, and if you already live here? Consider yourself one of the luckiest mamas around. But have you explored what’s going on for families in your own neighborhood? The thing about hanging out “in your own backyard” is that you’re more likely to meet the moms who live close instead of the moms who are an epic half hour subway ride away.

Mom Meet Mom

Keep your head up
When you’re out and about keep your head up and eyes open for other moms. Be brave and strike up a convo at the museum, or offer to help that mother who looks like she could use a hand (especially because you never know when you’re going to be the mom who could use a hand). Just whatever you do, don’t be a magnet for missed connections.

Break the ice
‘Mom dating’ is nerve-wracking because honestly, talking to strangers is weird. But remember that all moms share an unspoken universal bond with their fellow mamas. There is ALWAYS something to talk about. Who doesn’t like a compliment? “Your baby is adorable! How old?” For moms with bigger kids, it can be as easy as: “My kids go to [insert local school here] – do yours?” The hard part is following through and asking for phone numbers and email addresses so you can meet up later. Never forget the worst thing that can happen is a mom will say no thanks.

Mom Meet Mom

Connect online first
As an introverted mama myself, I’m much more comfortable getting to know someone online first and then meeting up for coffee or for a kids’ activity. Sites like Mom Meet Mom give you a chance to talk to lots of moms and figure out who you actually click with so you can avoid the dreaded awkwardly quiet coffee date.

Do it again and again
Think about how long it took for your best friends to become your best friends – or even to find the best friends you’ve made as a grownup. Just putting yourself out there and talking to moms is the first step and being patient is the next. The more overtures of friendship you make, the sooner you’re going to have a mommy network you can rely on through thick and thin.

Christa Terry is one of the founders of Mom Meet Mom, a social network where moms can find new friends, activity buddies, and playdates for their kids. The site has been featured on Good Morning America and in TechCrunch and DailyCandy, as well as in many other major media outlets.

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