SHARED by: Leigh Goldman, Gymtime Mom

I’ve been a parent for 12 years and have been covering the parenting beat for 15. I can’t remember when there was a parenting trend indicating that we were actually doing something right. Just look at some of the recent, modern parenting approaches.

  • Self-esteem boosting – we’re not adequately praising our kids.
  • Self-esteem boosting backlash – some accolades can be detrimental; for example, over-praising a child for his intelligence can affect his ability to take risks (because achieving isn’t associated with effort).
  • Helicopter parenting – these parents hover, always poised to help (well, micromanage) their kids’ lives. This trend is an extension of the “be involved, be very involved” battle cry.
  • Tiger Mom phenomenon – this mom is the uber disciplinarian who requires her children go to great (sometimes seemingly irrational) lengths to achieve. Translation: ramp up the rules and don’t waver when it comes to demanding achievement.

I guess the good news is that these trends have us in a constant state of analysis, and they help to motivate us to continually evolve our parenting skills as we ask ourselves, “Am I now doing the best job I can to make sure I’m raising a good, responsible, respectful child?”

The latest buzzy parenting philosophy making the rounds of the blogosphere, courtesy of mom blogger Jordana Horn, is “no rescue” parenting. No rescue is exactly what it sounds like. It means refraining from rescuing your child when she repeatedly makes the same mistake. Don’t bring her homework/gym bag/coat/violin/art project to school if she forgets it. Let her deal with the fallout.

By not swooping in for a “rescue,” you’re helping your child to develop a sense of responsibility and accountability. She/he is then forced to deal with the consequences, and consequences can be a pretty powerful teacher. Not only will your child learn to work through the issue – say, explaining to the teacher why she forgot her homework and then having to do a makeup assignment – she’ll likely be more diligent about remembering to bring in her homework in the future. And the benefits don’t stop there.

A sense of responsibility engenders self-confidence and a sense of independence – your child will realize she can handle things on her own, without you, and work her way past obstacles.

Of course, anything to the extreme isn’t good either. Today Show parenting contributor Amy McCready says a child should be developmentally ready for no-rescue parenting. And there’s no need to go after a “first-time offender” who’s generally responsible. No-rescue parenting is geared toward habitual forgetters.

To rescue or not to rescue? You decide. But as parenting philosophies come and go, one universal truth remains: there’s no such thing as the perfect parent. So give yourself a break!

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